By Rev Ezekiel A. Ajibade
Anger is one the strongest and most destructive emotion. The dictionary defines it as a strong feeling of grievance and displeasure. Anger happens when someone violates our rights, our principles or our personally acceptable sense of judgment. It happens when you are bitter against someone who has done something wrong against you. You are mad because someone steps on your toes or hurt you and your feelings. Then you react and possible want to avenge. Anger indeed is a product of selfishness. The “I” in you is offended and you want to let that person know you can not be passive or silent about it.
Many times we excuse our anger because we feel that is the best reaction we could give in a certain circumstance and we also feel “who wouldn’t react like that anyway?” Yet the Bible is unequivocal when it comes to condemning anger.
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. (KJV). Ecc 7:9
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go. (KJV). Prov 22:24
Anger and folly are biblical synonyms. You are a fool when you are angry and you are a man or woman to be avoided because you are dangerous. Anger therefore has no excuse. Benjamin Franklin once said,
“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.”
Marcus Aurelius also said,
“How much more grievous are the consequence of anger than the cause of it?
The Physical Dimension of Anger
When we go angry we destroy many things including those that have taken us years to build. We say words that when we come back to our senses we deny we ever said or we wish we never said. And interestingly, words are like egg. Break it and let it spill, you can never re-pack it. Anger and rage has once made a man to break the head of his wife with a pestle. Anger had made a woman to destroy all the household electronics of her husband. Anger has made people to stab each other with knives and broken bottle. Anger is the reason many men beat their wives blue and black, many parents beat their children to the point of comma, leading to being hospitalized or leaving an indelible scar. Anger at the way another road user drove has caused a lot of accidents and several deaths following. Out of anger people have abandoned projects, stormed out of meetings that would have profited their lives or their communities. Out of anger many have destroyed their destinies and that of others. On and on we can continue. We all have examples around us and indeed we have either been a major actor in anger before or have been victims. Anger is indeed destructive. No wonder the scripture says, the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20
The Medical Dimension to Anger
It has been estimated that 60-80 per cent of illness today are emotionally induced and anger and fear are the chief among these emotions. The simple fact is that our entire physical body is intricately tied to our nervous system and anytime this system is tensed up through anger, it affects one part of our body or the other adversely. Whenever you are emotionally tensed up, the tension first strikes the emotional centre and message is sent to other organs of the body. Changes in the emotional centre takes place through these mechanisms:
- There is a change in the amount of blood flowing into an organ
- The secretion of certain glands are affected
- There is an effect on the tension of the muscles.
Now when you are angry many things are likely to happen:
- Your blood vessel can automatically dilate and since the cranium (that part of the skull that covers the brain) is a rigid structure without room for expansion, your anger can lead to severe headache.
- The flow of blood to your stomach and other vital organs could be restricted and this can lead to ulcer and many other stomach diseases.
- There is a muscle over the human stomach that is emotionally controlled. When you are angry, it will tighten down and restrict the flow of blood to other vital organs of the heart, stomach, liver, intestines, lung, gall bladder etc.
- The more the anger or emotional rage is prolonged, the more we cause severe damages to these vital organs. This also makes our resistance to infectious diseases reduced.
Other diseases as high blood pressure, colitis and goiter have been at times linked with emotional problems. In fact a psychologist once said that he estimated that as many as 97 percent of his patient with ulcer had them because of anger while an ulcer specialist would like to concur that the figure is actually 100 per cent when he heard this statement. The question is, is it worth it? The millions of Naira spent on medical bills and drugs could be channeled into other things that will make our life better and more enjoyable. We had better choose life!
The Spiritual Dimension to Anger
Ephesians 4:29 says
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.
Anger does not stand alone. It has a big family of bitterness, malice, clamour, envy, resentment, intolerance, criticism, revenge, wrath, hatred, seditions, jealousy, attack, gossip, sarcasm and unforgiveness. Now in which ever form it manifests, anger grieves the Holy Spirit. It makes the Spirit sad and he cannot function in our lives. God’s working is hindered because we are bitter and our lives have become hostile to God and man. Nobody wants to come near a mad man. At this time we find it difficult to pray and if we do, we feel dry and can’t enjoy that sweet presence of the Holy Spirit. The worse is for us to pretend as if nothing is happening. If we pretend, God cannot be mocked or deceived. We are the ones to keep deceiving ourselves.
Help in times of Anger
- Value your relationship with God and his Spirit more than any prevailing circumstance that might upset you.
- Work on your temperament. Some temperaments are more prone to anger than others. Sanguine and Choleric are more prone to anger.
- Deal with the fundamental issue of selfishness. Love is the conqueror of selfishness. I Cor 13
- Never sleep over your anger. Eph 4:26
- Separate zeal for righteousness (otherwise called holy anger) from emotional and destructive anger. Neh 5:6; Mark 3:1-5; Matt 21:12-13; Luke 19:45-48.
- Remember that anger is an emotion and an emotion is always warm, even hot. Say out loud to yourself, “don’t be a fool. This won’t get me anywhere, so skip it.”
- Count ten or say the first ten words of our Lord’s Prayer. Before you do that ten times, the anger would have lost the power over you.
- Anger is a great term expressing the accumulated vehemence of a multitude of minor irritations. Take each irritation and make it an object of prayer.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
HELP IN TIMES OF DISCOURAGEMENT
Rev Ezekiel A. Ajibade
Introduction
Discouragement is simply defined as the state of being deprived of courage or confidence. It is a situation where life circumstances beats a man arms down and drives every impetus to carry on out of him. Discouragement is a common experience in our days due to the frustrating nature of our society and our seeming unpreparedness as Christians despite all the resources available to us. This is the reason we have to look deeply into this issue as we study today.
CAUSES OF DISCOURAGEMENT
When we seem to be left alone to a struggle
Occasions come when we try to champion a cause and instead of getting the necessary support, we are left alone to the struggle. A time will come when we may feel totally discouraged and ready to give up. Such was the condition of Elijah in I Kings 19:13-18. Having sole-handedly declared war on Israel’s idolatry, Baal and Asherah worshippers, and indeed wicked king Ahab, he eventually fell into the intimidating web of Jezebel and had to escape for dear life. In the cave where he went to, God asked him, what are you doing here and here was his reply in 19:10;
“I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
John the Baptist also got to this point in his life. He felt all alone in the struggle especially when he was imprisoned and no one was there to rescue him. He had to send to Jesus:
“Are you the one who was to come or should we expect someone else? (Matt 11:2-6)
When Hope is Delayed
Every human being has a breaking point or a point of elasticity. As we hope, believe and expect, a point of breakdown may come and we get discouraged. Proverbs 13:12 says,
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Abraham and Sarah got to this point as they expected God’s promise to be fulfilled. When it seems nothing was forth coming, Sarah encouraged Abraham to have a child through her maid. (Gen 16:1-3) Even after God’s indication of displeasure and renewal of covenant with Abraham in Gen 17, Abraham still said,
“Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety? If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!”
When Waiting becomes difficult
Waiting on the Lord is a critical aspect of a Christian’s relationship with God. God is never in a rush and he walks and works with a purpose in mind. But as humans, we want it now or never. Even when we try to wait, emergencies may arise and we get discouraged. In fact we think of taking alternative steps or helping ourselves out. Such was the case of Saul in I Sam 13:6-10. The army was already scattered and people were overwhelmed with fear. Yet Samuel did not arrive for the sacrifice as scheduled. Saul helped himself out but interestingly, “just as he finished making the offering,” Samuel arrived to his dismay and eventual dethronement.
When Defeat seems to Pile upon each other
Occasions also come in life when we go from one experience of calamity to another despite our initial courage and effort to carry on. The billows and torrents of trouble may eventually overwhelm us and we get discouraged. Such was the case of David in I Samuel 30:1-6. He has gone through a lot. He was driven away from his home land and turned into a desert wanderer, guerilla fighter and mercenary. Saul still sought to kill him. He was recently dismissed from the Philistines army and now, his camp at Ziklag has been raided and his family and that of his followers captured. Instead of being supported and encouraged by his own followers who he had done all his best to take care of, they talked of stoning him. Verse 6 said, “David was greatly distressed.”
HELP IN TIMES OF DISCOURAGEMENT
Cry at the Right time
There is a time to cry to God before the troubles of our life overwhelm us and we get discouraged. Israel cried to God in Ex 2:23-25. But was that really the right time? If Daniel did not discover that God intended for them to spend seventy years in exile, guess how many more years they would have languished in exile of suffering and discouragement (Dan 9:1-3). Cry at the right time. There is time to cry. Experience have shown that if some people had properly handled the problems of their lives much earlier, they would not be going through what they are going through right now.
Have a Stubborn faith: Don’t give up
Jesus taught us importunity in Luke 18:1-8. In Matthew 15:21-28 is the story of the Canaanite woman who refused to take “no” for an answer. All the statements Jesus made was enough to discourage her but she insisted on getting what she wanted so much that at the end, Jesus commented, “woman, you have great faith.”
Don’t take offence
We must develop the right approach to our moments of frustration in life. We must learn to be proactive and not reactive – either against human beings or against God our Creator. When Rachael got to a point in her journey of disappointments in life, she desperately said to Jacob one day, “Give me children or I’ll die” (Gen 30:1). When John the Baptist was disappointed, he queried Christ, “Are you the one who was to come or should we expect someone else?.” After Jesus gave him the proves of his Messiahship, he warned “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on the account of me.” (KJV says “take offence”). Hope you remember this was the same John introducing Christ in Matthew 3 and telling the people he was unworthy to untie his sandals.
Capitalise on your Area of Strength, explore and rejoice in it.
Mike Murdock said, ‘stay in the centre of your expertise and you will be far from your weakness.” Learn to do what you know best to do and give your all to it. Proverbs 24:10 says, “if you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength.” So build on your strength. Increase the reservoir of your strength and it will carry you through in the days of trouble (See Jer 12:5).
Deal with Worry and Cowardice.
Remove worry from your life. Don’t be a pessimist and never think solution lies in you alone. Don’t limit God and don’t use your small brain to help God think of what to do. Do you know that while Elijah was complaining he was the only one left, God said,
“yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel – all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.
Matthew 6:25-31 tells us God is in charge of our today and tomorrow. He clothes the lilies and feeds the birds. He can surely take care of your situation. So we should never be anxious or weighed down by anxiety. We are to simply face the business of seeking his kingdom first.
Encourage yourself.
In I Samuel 30:6, David encouraged himself in the Lord despite the odds that surrounded him. And this is a principle that has helped many in life. That’s why the writer of the Kohathite psalm in Psalm 42:5 could say,
“Why are you down cast, o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God…”
Remember they say it is not over until it is over. So you have no cause to be discouraged. See the summary of this man’s life;
Failed in business at 31
Defeated in legislature at 32
Failed in business at 34
Sweetheart died at 35
Had nervous breakdown at 36
Defeated in election at 38
Defeated for congress at 43
Defeated for congress at 46
Defeated for senate at 55
Defeated for vice president at 56
Defeated for senate at 58
Elected president at 60
This man was Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest presidents America ever had. It is not over until it is over.
Confess positively
As a Christian you should be able to wake up every morning and say;
The Lord is my strength and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an enemy besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. (Psalm 27:1-3).
Your confession matters in times of discouragement. Say positive things about yourself and your situation and you will see things working out for you positively. Remember that Shunammite woman in 2 Kgs 4? Her child was dead but her confession was “it is well.” At the end it was well with her because God used Elisha to raise her dead son back to life.
Conclusion
Discouragement cannot but come. The issue is not whether you are going through it or not. The issue is what you are doing with it. The summary and conclusion of the matter is the title of one of Robert Schuller’s book: TOUGH TIME NEVER LAST BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO!”
Introduction
Discouragement is simply defined as the state of being deprived of courage or confidence. It is a situation where life circumstances beats a man arms down and drives every impetus to carry on out of him. Discouragement is a common experience in our days due to the frustrating nature of our society and our seeming unpreparedness as Christians despite all the resources available to us. This is the reason we have to look deeply into this issue as we study today.
CAUSES OF DISCOURAGEMENT
When we seem to be left alone to a struggle
Occasions come when we try to champion a cause and instead of getting the necessary support, we are left alone to the struggle. A time will come when we may feel totally discouraged and ready to give up. Such was the condition of Elijah in I Kings 19:13-18. Having sole-handedly declared war on Israel’s idolatry, Baal and Asherah worshippers, and indeed wicked king Ahab, he eventually fell into the intimidating web of Jezebel and had to escape for dear life. In the cave where he went to, God asked him, what are you doing here and here was his reply in 19:10;
“I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
John the Baptist also got to this point in his life. He felt all alone in the struggle especially when he was imprisoned and no one was there to rescue him. He had to send to Jesus:
“Are you the one who was to come or should we expect someone else? (Matt 11:2-6)
When Hope is Delayed
Every human being has a breaking point or a point of elasticity. As we hope, believe and expect, a point of breakdown may come and we get discouraged. Proverbs 13:12 says,
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Abraham and Sarah got to this point as they expected God’s promise to be fulfilled. When it seems nothing was forth coming, Sarah encouraged Abraham to have a child through her maid. (Gen 16:1-3) Even after God’s indication of displeasure and renewal of covenant with Abraham in Gen 17, Abraham still said,
“Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety? If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!”
When Waiting becomes difficult
Waiting on the Lord is a critical aspect of a Christian’s relationship with God. God is never in a rush and he walks and works with a purpose in mind. But as humans, we want it now or never. Even when we try to wait, emergencies may arise and we get discouraged. In fact we think of taking alternative steps or helping ourselves out. Such was the case of Saul in I Sam 13:6-10. The army was already scattered and people were overwhelmed with fear. Yet Samuel did not arrive for the sacrifice as scheduled. Saul helped himself out but interestingly, “just as he finished making the offering,” Samuel arrived to his dismay and eventual dethronement.
When Defeat seems to Pile upon each other
Occasions also come in life when we go from one experience of calamity to another despite our initial courage and effort to carry on. The billows and torrents of trouble may eventually overwhelm us and we get discouraged. Such was the case of David in I Samuel 30:1-6. He has gone through a lot. He was driven away from his home land and turned into a desert wanderer, guerilla fighter and mercenary. Saul still sought to kill him. He was recently dismissed from the Philistines army and now, his camp at Ziklag has been raided and his family and that of his followers captured. Instead of being supported and encouraged by his own followers who he had done all his best to take care of, they talked of stoning him. Verse 6 said, “David was greatly distressed.”
HELP IN TIMES OF DISCOURAGEMENT
Cry at the Right time
There is a time to cry to God before the troubles of our life overwhelm us and we get discouraged. Israel cried to God in Ex 2:23-25. But was that really the right time? If Daniel did not discover that God intended for them to spend seventy years in exile, guess how many more years they would have languished in exile of suffering and discouragement (Dan 9:1-3). Cry at the right time. There is time to cry. Experience have shown that if some people had properly handled the problems of their lives much earlier, they would not be going through what they are going through right now.
Have a Stubborn faith: Don’t give up
Jesus taught us importunity in Luke 18:1-8. In Matthew 15:21-28 is the story of the Canaanite woman who refused to take “no” for an answer. All the statements Jesus made was enough to discourage her but she insisted on getting what she wanted so much that at the end, Jesus commented, “woman, you have great faith.”
Don’t take offence
We must develop the right approach to our moments of frustration in life. We must learn to be proactive and not reactive – either against human beings or against God our Creator. When Rachael got to a point in her journey of disappointments in life, she desperately said to Jacob one day, “Give me children or I’ll die” (Gen 30:1). When John the Baptist was disappointed, he queried Christ, “Are you the one who was to come or should we expect someone else?.” After Jesus gave him the proves of his Messiahship, he warned “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on the account of me.” (KJV says “take offence”). Hope you remember this was the same John introducing Christ in Matthew 3 and telling the people he was unworthy to untie his sandals.
Capitalise on your Area of Strength, explore and rejoice in it.
Mike Murdock said, ‘stay in the centre of your expertise and you will be far from your weakness.” Learn to do what you know best to do and give your all to it. Proverbs 24:10 says, “if you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength.” So build on your strength. Increase the reservoir of your strength and it will carry you through in the days of trouble (See Jer 12:5).
Deal with Worry and Cowardice.
Remove worry from your life. Don’t be a pessimist and never think solution lies in you alone. Don’t limit God and don’t use your small brain to help God think of what to do. Do you know that while Elijah was complaining he was the only one left, God said,
“yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel – all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.
Matthew 6:25-31 tells us God is in charge of our today and tomorrow. He clothes the lilies and feeds the birds. He can surely take care of your situation. So we should never be anxious or weighed down by anxiety. We are to simply face the business of seeking his kingdom first.
Encourage yourself.
In I Samuel 30:6, David encouraged himself in the Lord despite the odds that surrounded him. And this is a principle that has helped many in life. That’s why the writer of the Kohathite psalm in Psalm 42:5 could say,
“Why are you down cast, o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God…”
Remember they say it is not over until it is over. So you have no cause to be discouraged. See the summary of this man’s life;
Failed in business at 31
Defeated in legislature at 32
Failed in business at 34
Sweetheart died at 35
Had nervous breakdown at 36
Defeated in election at 38
Defeated for congress at 43
Defeated for congress at 46
Defeated for senate at 55
Defeated for vice president at 56
Defeated for senate at 58
Elected president at 60
This man was Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest presidents America ever had. It is not over until it is over.
Confess positively
As a Christian you should be able to wake up every morning and say;
The Lord is my strength and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an enemy besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. (Psalm 27:1-3).
Your confession matters in times of discouragement. Say positive things about yourself and your situation and you will see things working out for you positively. Remember that Shunammite woman in 2 Kgs 4? Her child was dead but her confession was “it is well.” At the end it was well with her because God used Elisha to raise her dead son back to life.
Conclusion
Discouragement cannot but come. The issue is not whether you are going through it or not. The issue is what you are doing with it. The summary and conclusion of the matter is the title of one of Robert Schuller’s book: TOUGH TIME NEVER LAST BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO!”
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