One difficult but quite useful tool for evaluating one’s life and indeed making progress in life is the use of criticism. Though, the concept has taken up a negative garb due to its abuse, our disposition to it, our reaction to it, and what we bring out of it tells a lot about how strong our personality will become. Interestingly enough, we also criticize others just as we are being criticized.
Meaning
A look at the meaning of criticism from the dictionary reveals its two sides. First, it is defined as an act of making an unfavourable or severe judgement or comment. When you don’t see anything good about somebody or something and all he/it attracts from you at all times are negative comments (even when there are other things good about him/it), you are said to be criticizing. Criticism could however be an act of evaluation or analyzing something (or somebody). In this case a sense of judgement is used to take a detailed look at somebody or some situation and proper statements are made, either negative or positive or (most often) both. For example, a work of art could be criticized. We also have literary criticism in literature where a piece of literature is subjected to detailed analysis, not sparing even the author. Paper or seminar presentation in class or other forum could also be subject to criticism.
Whatever is the case one broad classification that has been made about criticism is constructive criticism and destructive criticism. While the former seeks to enhance the life of it object, the latter does not see anything good in its object. In fact, its aim is to destroy and not to build. Whichever is the case, criticism is an integral part of human behaviour which we cannot but live with everyday. We must however find ways of using it positively not negatively.
Biblical Example
Criticism seems to be a product of community expectation on one’s personality and behaviour. There is a socially acceptable norm. This could be biblical, moral or ethical. It could also be cultural. One cannot afford to be a deviant whatever may be one’s convictions. Even a critic will be judged by others based on how socially acceptable his view about his target of criticism are. We will consider some examples of what looks like criticism in the Bible, see whether they are constructive or destructive and see what lessons we can learn form them.
Jethro and Moses: Exodus 18:13 – 26
Perhaps nobody saw anything wrong with what Moses was doing by sitting down from morning till evening judging the whole of Israel. Or somebody did see it but thought Moses must be too big to correct. It was obvious Moses himself did not see anything wrong with it. But there was something wrong and somebody needed to point it out. Jethro, Moses father–in-law came right on time and he struck the nail on the head. “What you are doing is not good” (Vrs 17).
Jethro presented us with what we could call a good model constructive of criticism.
• A critical study of the situation: Jethro watched the situation properly before interfering. Vrs 13. (He saw what Moses was doing. He was not delegating)
• An interaction with the person involved: Jethro asked questions to see perhaps if Moses had a good excuse for the “bad thing” he is doing. Vrs 14- 16. (What are you doing?)
• A fair verdict about the situation: Jethro did not mince word or play around the truth. Vrs 17-18. (You are killing yourself)
• A workable suggestion for improvement: Jethro did not stop at condemning Moses. He gave alternative suggestions that could help Moses improve. Vrs 19-23. (Delegation)
• A change of attitude from the criticized. Moses listened. Vrs. 24-26. (He started delegating).
Everyone may need to pray that God will send Jethros across their way instead of surrounding oneself with praise-singers and sycophants. One would however need the meekness, and sincerity of Moses to benefit from such Jethros.
Miriam, Aaron and Moses: Numbers 12:1–15
Moses was subjected to another episode of criticism. This time however, it was a destructive one unlike that of Jethro. The bone of contention according to verse 1 was that Moses married a Cushite wife. There are two understanding we could have of this, according to NIV Study Bible commentary. First this could be a direct reference to Zipporah, Moses wife (Ex. 2:15 – 22). In that case the term “Cushite” is used in contempt for her Midianite ancestry. Secondly and more likely, however, the reference could be to a new wife taken by Moses, perhaps after the death of his first wife.
But a close look at the text and especially the lack of correlation between verses 1 and 2 suggest the very nature of destructive criticism. In verse 1, Moses and Aaron were talking of a Cushite wife. In verse 2 they were asking “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses? “Hasn’t he also spoken through us?” It follows then that their criticism of Moses and his wife was a mere pretext. Their problem was an envy or jealousy of Moses’ prophetic gift and his special relationship with the Lord. This tellis us some things about destructive criticism.
• It is always out of envy or jealousy
• It is often oblivious or totally ignorant of facts
• Real issues are played around with flimsy ones. Such critics major on minor.
• It aims to bring down and not to build up
• God fights for victims of such criticism
Paul and Peter: Gal. 2:11 – 21
Here in the New Testament we saw how Paul took Peter up in a case of hypocrisy. Just like we learned from Jethro and Moses, here is another Model of constructive criticism.
• Boldness to confront issues (“I opposed him face to face” Vrs. II). Paul did not backbite or gossip. He faced the person (Peter) and faced the issue (hypocrisy on the issue of eating with gentiles).
• Correct observation and fair analysis of the situation (“He saw that they were acting not in line with the fruit of the gospel.” Vrs. 14).
• Scriptural teaching aimed at correction and improvement (Vrs 15- 21).
On an on, we could cite so many example in the scripture but the principle and practice of constructive and destructive criticism remains the same. What each results into is the issue of concern at this point. Constructive criticism as we see produces a positive change in the person being criticised. But this is not in all cases. On many occasions we have seen people who cannot afford to be criticized, not to talk of been corrected. Such was the case of Saul, King Ahab and others who had very hostile relationship with the prophets and their subjects simply because they hate to be told the truth. Such was the case of the Pharisees too in the New Testament. Destructive criticism on the other hand would either turn its object into a robot (tossed about by just any criticism) or into somebody in a consistently defensive state or if he is focused person (but meek), God would have no choice than to continue to vindicate him as we saw with Moses.
This will then lead us to examine what our actions and reactions should be on the issue of criticism whether we are criticising or we are being criticised. It would also summarise many of the facts we have analysed so far from our studies in the scripture.
Law of the Critic
Get your Facts before criticizing
Many occasions we have seen people who criticised only to come back and apologise that they did not have their fact or did not understand their target initially. Study the situation critically and study the person objectively. Have your facts before going into criticism so you won’t have to swallow your words or end up disgracing yourself or losing your integrity.
Have a fair sense of Judgment
It is wrong to conclude that nothing good could come out of a person because we already have a bias against him. This is the stance of a popular lawyer and human right activist on the current president of Nigeria if you read the dailies. You should be objective and fair enough to give a knock when due and give a praise when due.
Criticize to bring our the best and not to condemn
The objective of any criticism should be letting the person knows you are not to destroy him/her but to let him know there are still great potentials in him/her that could come to focus.
Be humble and constructive
Criticism should not come out of a proud, “holier than thou” attitude. The choice of word should not be abusive, discouraging and dehumanizing. Criticism should be done from a large heart and a loving heart. Indeed narrow–minded and myopic people are not in the best position to criticize. They should rather be criticized.
Follow up your criticism with suggestion for improvement:
The best of criticisms is that which identifies the error, suggests correction and proffer solution. That is why it is wrong to criticise in subjects which you are not conversant with. There are issues of professionalism. A pastor is trained in a seminary class where most church members (at times including his wife or if a woman, her husband) have not entered before. A politician, an engineer, an architect, medical Doctor, Nurse etc would stand up to tell you “You can’t teach me my job”. Yes, because you don’t know about their job. Though there are issues of general knowledge, ethics and common sense, professional criticism would best be done by fellow professionals who would also be able to offer workable suggestions for improvement.
The fact that we disagree does not make us enemies
This is the highest level of maturity. Criticism should be done in such a way it doesn’t become personal. The most difficult thing you may wish to do on earth is to turn that person next to you (even your wife, husband or children) to become like yourself or force them to begin to see everything from your perspective. The best you can do to live a happy life is to appreciate everyone for their differences. God may help you to influence some lives through your constructive criticism but for you to think everybody must reason the way you do is suicidal. When others don’t buy your idea, that does not make you enemies. A large heart will always thrive on the basis of unity among diversity. Kim Hubbard said, “The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you”
Measure the person up with yourself
The question is, could you have done better? That was the question Jesus threw to those who brought the woman caught in adultery? If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone. The accusers (whom we may call critics in this context) all disappeared one after the other. Experience has proven that the loudest critics (most often) never perform better when they are given the same opportunity with the person they were always criticising. An anonymous writer once said,
“There is much good in worst of us
and so much bad in the best of us
that it hardly becomes any one of us
to talk about the rest of us”.
But we have seen good critics whom when given the opportunity, become a real, better option. It is very likely however that they were constructive critics and not destructive ones.
Law of the criticized
Be Open to criticism
It is wrong to close one’s mind to criticism. Criticism indeed has its positive roles. What you need to know is what reaction to give to different kinds of criticism and critics. A man of God recently gave us a lecture where I picked these three kinds of critics and what you should do with them.
Envious Critics: Somebody who is always seeking for attention. He wants to be the child on the day of naming, bride on the day of marriage and corpse on the day of burial. He cannot see anything good in you. IGNORE HIM!
Ignorant Critic: He doesn’t have his facts. What he needs is for you to EDUCATE him! Explain to him, he might become your best of friends.
Constructive Critic: He desires for you to do better. He won’t bring you outside when he has never corrected you inside. LISTEN CAREFULLY TO HIM! Pray and take necessary actions.
The man of God ended up his words with that of Antistenis who gave these two people who can tell you the truth.
- A friend who loves you so dearly and
- An enemy who has lost his temper
Know that the Power of character can quench the sting of criticism
Men with strong character and men who aspire after such don’t fear criticism. One childhood maxim that is still registered clear in my memory is “a clear conscience fears no gossip”. That is the truth. Keep your character intact if it spiritually, morally and ethically good. No criticism can bend you. Andre Gide said “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
Be sincere and humble
Criticism should not land on a hard, proud and defiant heart. A sincere person will critically asses what his critic says and see which ones are the wheat and which ones are the chaff. When your critic is partly or wholly right, you will do a good service to yourself and your future by accepting the truth humbly and working and praying for a change.
Be firm on your good convictions
The bombarding force of criticism is so strong that the timid can be confused and probably begin to misbehave. You need to be strong and decisive. You need to learn to deliberate with caution, but act with decision, and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness (Charles Hole).
Be a good communicator and Mobiliser
The problem of many leaders is that they have good intentions, good agenda, plans and packages but they don’t know how to carry people along. You should know how to communicate. Communication simply means you send a message or signal to your followers and they decode it. It is not enough to have told them. The question is, have they heard? It is not enough for them to have heard. Do they understand it the way it was in your heart? Mobilisation is also important. Are the people well-mobilised about the project so much they are ready to invest their life and death into it? If this is not there, you are going to be criticised.
Don’t make enemies out of your critics
You can never please everybody. This is impossible. Even with your best intention, good communication and mobilisation including humility, some may just never see what you are doing. Yours is to face your business and love everyone, living in peace as much as it lies within you. (Romans 12:17-18). Your critics are helping you to be on your toes and not sleep. Better appreciate them and never hate them.
Be very positive, proactive and not reactive.
You can change if your critics are right. Take up a positive disposition that you can change if you are genuinely convinced that there is something faulty about your character or style of leadership. Also you must be proactive and not reactive. Be very thoughtful and reasonable. Don’t just act based on a pre-conceived notion that “this critic has come again.” The vengeful idea is also wrong. The Yoruba talk of the hen which spilled my drug and whose eggs I must destroy (in retaliation). There is a governor of a state in Nigeria I don’t enjoy reading about. The reason is that for every little criticism he receives he must go to secure a full page or half page in the dailies (with tax–payers money) either to defend himself of abuse his critics. For me this is immaturity. It is not every criticism we respond to and even when we have to do it, it should be with deep thought and high sense of maturity and sincerity.
Conclusion
As long as we are in this world, criticism will be part of our normal life. What we do with it is what really matters. Make use of criticism to better your life and if you must criticise anyone, do it constructively and remember you are also been watched to be criticised.
“Mistrust the man who finds everything good
The man who finds everything evil;
And still more, the man who is indifferent to everything.
- Johann Kasper Lavatar
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