While some people may not sincerely bargain for condescending very low into the sin of sexual immorality there are certain conditions that easily opens the door for it. I call them exigencies here because of the reason that it was not initially intended or such a person was lured into doing it as a result of the condition he or she found himself/herself. Exigency actually means “something that a situation demands or makes urgently necessary and that puts pressure on the people involved.” But the question we shall be considering as we go along is this: is exigency an excuse for sin? We will discover that there is no genuine excuse before God. All we have to do about sin is to run away from it, whatever it would cost us. Let us see some examples of these so called exigencies.
Job Demands
The nature of Joseph’s work brought him the temptation which he eventually escaped from. Because he had to be at home most of the times especially with the wife of Portipher, it was easy for the woman to set her eyes on him lustfully. We have jobs and job conditions that bring temptation to immorality. Examples of this are:
- Working in a hotel or restaurant: If job exigency takes you to a setting like this then you have to be very careful and you should plan not to stay too long there. A guest house that does not offer services of alcoholic drink and does not host prostitutes may be fairer. But generally it is better to flee all appearances of evil.
- Working in the armed forces or paramilitary forces. These set of people are subjected to postings where they stay long without their spouses and with the passing of time, the body cannot but demand for sex. A Christian in this setting has to be self-disciplined and not copy what the unbelievers are doing. For safer postings where there aren’t rules baring one’s spouse, constant visit or out right moving along with one’s spouse as soon as he is posted will be helpful (if such wife is a full house wife).
- Medical Work: Medical workers such as doctors and nurses and other attendants are well exposed to human nakedness. Though ethically, they are not supposed to sexually harass their patient, we have yet seen cases that are otherwise. For sure the constant exposure of the sight to nakedness has its side effect not to talk of the shift system of work that at times keeps them away from their spouses at nights. People in this profession need a lot of discipline and extra care. Recently, a man was almost lynched by an irate mob because he raped a woman who came for scanning, right in the scanning room.
- Office Secretary: It is no more news that many secretaries have either ruined their bosses’ life or have taken over homes of such bosses from their wives. Some secretaries deliberately lure their bosses while some bosses fell in love with their secretaries. This does not exclude even some great men of God. We must be very sensitive, discreet and learn to put our secretaries where they belong. It is even advocated by some that male secretaries should serve male bosses and female should serve female bosses. This however may not be the solution because it is not only the office secretary that is a lady or woman in any place of work. A life of separation and holiness is the key.
- House-helps: Many because of poverty condition have had to do the job of a house help. In the course, they have serviced the sexual appetite of their master when their mistress was not around. Some who did it were lured, some offered themselves, some were forced or raped while some sheepishly or “innocently” got into it. There was the incidence of a business woman who was so busy that before day beaks she is out for her business and she will come later in the night. It was the house-help who will sweep daddy’s bedroom and prepare his food. Suddenly one day this woman began to notice that this girl was growing unusually fat or big. She had to make some inquiry. By the time she took her to the hospital for pregnancy test, the poor young girl was pregnant without herself knowing it. Daddy has slept with her on an occasion he was sexually pressed and his wife was not around.
- Banking: There is a dimension that has just been introduced into Nigerian banking system. Young ladies are employed as marketers and are given targets of a certain millions of Naira they expect to rake in through the luring of rich members of the society into opening an account with them. Such girls have to go extra mile to dress in seductive ways, attend parties and visit these big men so that they can woo them into opening account. You all know things like this don’t go for free. In the course some or many of them would definitely have to sleep with these men. I think your God is more important than your belly.
The Bible warns in Hebrews 12:16
“lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright.
Whatever source or sources of income that would not glorify God or that would make us sell our birthright in Christ, we must run away from it. I Corinthians 6:13 says,
Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Parental Influence
Some go into sexual immorality because their parents engage in the same. In fact some parents introduce their children into it and some even expect some pay back from the proceeds gotten by their children from the deal. To some it is a way of life.
I read of a woman who divorced her husband in Ghana Nigeria
This woman was so serious about her philosophy that she told her daughter to abort the pregnancy or it will stay for eighteen months in her womb. Like a joke this pregnancy was not delivered until after thirteen months backed up by so much prayer and deliverance. Still she refused to have anything to do with this girl or her husband despite the fact that they were both rich and the girl was already living in England
Imagine you have a mother like this as a girl! And that is the reality some young people are facing. Yet this exigency is not valid. Jesus has said,
`Anyone who wants to be my follower must love me far more than he does his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, or sisters--yes, more than his own life--otherwise he cannot be my disciple. And no one can be my disciple who does not carry his own cross and follow me. (Luke 14:26-27 LVB).
Overseas Travel
The craze to travel overseas has opened the door for different marital crises and has necessitated many acts of immorality. A lady was beautifully engaged to a man but suddenly this young man met another lady who was a British citizen. Knowing that his prospect of traveling abroad is now higher, he jilted his former fiancée. We have also seen some girls who are ready to sell their body and anything they can for any man who promises to send them abroad. This is what has brought the Italy prostitution businesses into flourishing in Edo and surrounding states.
One painful story is one of a business man who was always traveling abroad. Each time he returned, the wife still hardly had time for him. It was the daughter (a secondary school girl) that was always available and Daddy goes all around with her. To the wife, it was just a matter of “Daddy’s pet” and she didn’t read any meaning to the affinity between her husband and their daughter until her own sister drew her attention to it. She told her to investigate based on what her daughter who was a close friend of this girl told her. On investigation, she discovered Daddy had been having sexual affair with this girl each time he came home and this girl was so innocent and perhaps brain washed by her father that she didn’t see anything wrong with the whole act.
Whatever separation from one’s spouse which could lead into immoral temptation should be well handled. If it is possible travel with your wife on any journey that will take you more than a week. If it is not possible, get ready to really discipline yourself and depend on God for grace of self-denial. Try as much as possible too to come back home as often as you can afford. Remember the body actually is not a log of wood! Yet adultery and fornication had no license. For the singles, overseas craze is a useless craze. Remember America or London Jerusalem on high because of Jerusalem
Financial Exigency
If you have seen some people in their desperation to meet a particular need before, you will see how easy is it to lure them into immorality if you promise them their problem will be solved. And so many girls and women have slept with men because they needed money, they needed to pay school fees, needed to pass an exam, needed to get a job or a promotion. A girl once advertised on the internet that she wanted to sell her virginity for certain amount of dollars because she had no money to continue her school and she got a man who bought it. Some men too are opportunists. They believe nothing goes for nothing and so as you are making your demand, they are giving you their condition which sex. God will judge such men.
Your body is too precious to sell for any million or billion of dollars. You are too precious as a believer.
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? (Matt 6:25)
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. (I Cor 6:19-20)
Your life is more than food and your body more than cloth. You were brought with a price – the precious blood of Jesus. Please don’t useless your life. There are many legitimate things you can do to get money than to sell your body. Remember the admonition from God’s word:
But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. (I Tim 6:6-11).
Marital Conditions
Some go into sexual immorality because of their martial condition and they feel justified. Such conditions are widowhood, divorce and sexual starvation from spouse. None of this reason will make God support you in the sin of sexual immorality. If you are a young widow, go and remarry. If you are older, dedicate the rest of your life to God’s service. We have heard of widows who sexually molest their children (forcing their young male child to have sex with them). We have seen widows who became snare to men of God tempting them due to their closeness and the unsuspecting attitude of the man of God. Widows have better way to conduct their lives than to become an agent of immorality. I Timothy 5:3-15 says
Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. And these things command, that they may be blameless. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work. But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not. Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.
If you are divorced, seek reconciliation with your husband or remain as you are without defiling your self and compounding your sin before God. If your spouse is depriving you, go for marital counseling and pray for him or her. But there are some conditions that call for nothing but the special grace of God. This include impotence – natural or induced, paralysis resulting from accidents, strokes etc, spouse becoming bed-ridden, developing mental or psychiatric problem and placed in isolation. These are conditions that are not bargained for. Yet, you cannot go out because your wife or husband is indisposed to sex. There are also temporary cases like one’s wife becoming very sick during pregnancy, and also the issue of waiting for her between the delivery period and the time her blood flow will cease and her wound will heal if she was cut for any reason. The simple secret is putting your body under and asking for God’s grace. Paul said,
But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. (I Cor 9:27).
And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'' (I Cor 12:7-9).
We also have cases of bareness. We have situation where a man or woman goes into extra-marital affairs in order to prove that they are not the one responsible for their bareness. This is another terrible situation that must not be mentioned in the body of Christ. For some it has ruined their family. For some, the very year that the man went out to look for another woman was the year his wife at home became pregnant. Why not wait on God?
Return of an old lover
When an old lover begins to come around again whether you are married or not, caution should be taken lest you destroy your marriage. I know a lady. She had two children. She told me she has never really loved this man. But the man just came around and before she knew it she became pregnant for him. Because she was not really interested in marrying him, they each went their way. But as if he knew the other child was ripe enough to have a younger one, he came around and according to her it’s as if he used some demonic power to subdue her, she became pregnant for him again. Meanwhile she could not get someone to marry her, she was not interested in this man nor did this man paid anything on her. Then she gave her life to Christ and she got another fine brother (a widower) that was ready to marry her for real. As she was preparing for this, that man suddenly came from nowhere again and was going to sleep with her. Unfortunately this time, she is a more powerful person. She resisted him and indeed drove him away. Today she is happily married with two other children from the new husband.
Now this apart, old love has a way of getting rejuvenated. This could lead to extra-marital affair or double-dating for singles. Be focused and face what God has given you. You cannot eat your cake and have it. Since that first relationship did not work, this one that is working is the will of God. Give it all it takes to succeed and chase away the strange woman.
Free Tickets
Finally let me inform you if do not know that there are many free tickets for immorality all around our world today. At most you pay a token. Prostitutes and sex workers abound in their hotels, brothels and right in the streets. In some hotels, they are the ones to welcome you as you arrive. I ignorantly lodged in a hotel in Lagos
What about the “mild ones,” Parties are available where girls are lodged for free inside each of the guest’s hotel rooms. When the Nigerian Air force and some other organizations are having their annual conferences or whatever it is called, girls are imported from various campuses and are lodged in the hotels and guest houses where the participants will be hosted. It’s a free ticket. Government has paid the way for your death! As you are catching one of them, know that you are digging your grave. A girl was already in the room on one of those occasions. She has even slept off and switched off the light when the party was over and the man to occupy the room with her came in (the arrangement was to fix a girl without your knowledge). When the man came, he didn’t care to switch on the light, he went on several rounds of sex with this young lady and they both slept off. When this girl woke up the next morning (she was the first to wake up), the face she saw was the face of the father of her fiancé!
We have also discovered some cultures where people offer their wives as part of the welcome package for their guest and if you don’t sleep with her, it means you did not accept them as a people. They indeed offer this to even men of God who went for revival programmes. If you accept such treat, you are finished. You had better go with your wife for such assignment.
What about happenings in our secondary schools and tertiary institutions? Sex has been a public issue since I was in the University some twenty years ago – on the fields, under flowers, inside classes and inside cars or even toilets. It is even worse now. When you walk on our campuses today and you cant keep your eyes straight, be sure you are going to pollute your mind or your senses. These are really the end times. Sex has become very cheap. Even lesbians are not hiding it again. A reporter was once invited by a lesbian to their camp in Abuja
So watch it! Don’t say, I was not the one who asked for it. She was the one. Remember it was not Joseph that asked for it. It was the wife of Potipher, a married woman for that matter.
Conclusion
The conclusion is this: the Bible says whoever sin is of the devil. God does not permit or allow us to sin because there was just no way out for us. Definitely there is always a way out. Each time we sin, we have simply permitted it. Rom 6:14 has said sin shall not have dominion over us. So there is nothing like exigency when it comes to sin. However pressed you are to commit it, there is a grace that you have to utilize. There is a way out for you to stand right under any temptation. It is either you refuse to make use of the way out or you deliberately wanted to enjoy – I mean destroy your life. RUN FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY!!!
